Monday, February 8, 2016

Sometimes you just need a reset button......

I have not felt like blogging for months now.  I just didn't feel like it and I couldn't figure out why.  It isn't like I was not running races.  I have done quite a few since my last post.

How 2015 ended:

Rock n Roll Philly.  3rd year running and it got moved to Halloween!!  Course was long but if I stopped my watch at 13.1 I would have had a PR :)

Trenton Half with BGR! With a race full of BGR and BMR you will never get more support on a course!!

Rock n Roll Vegas #CGP2015!!  Crazy wind storm 50mpr head winds for the second half of the race kicked my ass but I was on pace for a huge PR up to mile 9!!

The (not so frozen) Frozen Bonsai half.  63 degrees in December!!  This is when I realized it was all starting to fall apart with the longer races.  Thank goodness I had a friend to get me to that finish line!!

A bunch of local races with my Team Chris teammates and local BGRLI ladies!  When I am with these people I am happy but my heart was not in the running part that is for sure.  December had amazing weather for running which was nice.

Heck, I even won an award.....

So then 2016 started....this is a running blog so we won't talk about the devastation of losing David Bowie and Alan Rickman.

First big race was the Brewery 10 Mile Run.  I hated it the last time I did it but I thought being with my teammates I would have a better time.....well the before and after were better but the running was miserable from the 1st step I took.  Worst 10 mile time ever.

Winter Run pics?  Oh yeah I bailed on all 4 races!

Went to Fla to visit my in-laws and found a race there.  Suncoast Half.  Weather was perfection but again I was miserable the whole time.

I have been doing short runs and walks on the treadmill to make sure I get at least 1 mile a day and even went out to run in the snow.  Since it was a short distance I was able to enjoy it and smile. (except when I saw a fallen tree)

So I guess that brings me to this weekend and the big realization.  I went into Prospect Park with Danielle and Denise for the Go Hard or Go Home Half Marathon.  I had a bunch of friends going and my one friend Jen was going to be running her ONE HUNDREDTH half marathon all while she also runs ultra marathons!!  You can check out her blog here.

Anyway.....again from the first step I took I was miserable.  The course didn't help.  It was hilly, and FOUR loops so we passed the finish line THREE TIMES and did all the hills four times.  At one point I stopped and sat in a port o potty for like 5 minutes.  It wasn't even a race was a RANDO park one with no door latch....GROSS but I just didn't want to be there anymore.

It was after that situation I realized I had to admit something to myself that I had been thinking for a while.  I am burnt out.  I used to race a lot because it was fun.  I am not fast and I am not winning things but I was having fun.  I am no longer having fun.  I need to cut out the races that are over 10k for a while.  I have already contacted a few races that I know will let me defer and/or transfer and am working on finding people to take my bibs.  I will still do a couple of long races I am registered for, the Hot Chocolate 15k, RnR Raleigh and the Newport 10 miler but I am not putting any pressure on myself for any of them.  Other than that I will go back to how I started and just stick to local 5ks, 4 milers and 10ks.

My biggest fear was that Tom would be disappointed in me as well as my penguins.  I told Tom and he understood and said I should start curling with him now.....LOL  My penguins were also very understanding.  So now that they all know I needed to put it out there for everyone.

Thanks for reading and maybe this will also help me hit the reset button and get back to regular blogging and having fun running.