Wednesday, February 5, 2014

Leaving on a jet plane.......

Now I was not going to post before I left for Ragnar and just do a couple of posts when I got back to cover everything but I have to admit something........


 I am scared.

really...REALLY scared

I know this is silly.  I just can't help it.  I am on a team with some pretty fast and fit people and I am by far the slowest person.





Then you throw in the humidity and I panic.  We all know that humidity and I are not friends....it makes me slow and it makes me throw up.  I am usually a nervous person at the start of a race but this has been the past week.  When I first learned about this event I didn't just want to do it - I  WAS GOING TO DO IT!!  When Angela posted on the Team Tough Chik page that she just finished the 2013 run and was going to be putting together a team for 2014.... I . WAS . IN!!

Fast forward a year....I have gained 20 pounds due to some medial reasons but mostly a lot of bad eating habits.....I mean just look at the name of this blog.....I am 40 NOT 4 and yet I still eat like Buddy the Elf.



Putting on this weight has really taken a toll on my running times.  I went from the low 10 minute miles to the high 11 minute miles for short distances.  I was happy that in the last couple of races of 2013 my half marathon pace stayed close to 12 minute miles and my shorter races were close to 11 minute miles but here in the North East it is cold in November and December.....not 80 degrees and A MILLION percent humidity as it is in South Florida.


Now, I know that even though they are super fit and fast every member of my team is pretty much awesome and are not going to look at me like the asshole who is ruining it for everyone but I know *I* will be looking at myself with those eyes.


I have not run much since December between getting sick at he fact that I have seriously lost my running mojo.  With the exception of Rock n Roll Phoenix (Thanks to new friends) I have hated every single run I have taken in 2014.  WHAT THE FUCK!?!



I have been silently freaking out about this for the past week.  As I was getting the last of my running packing done last night it really started to hit me.

"What if I let everyone down?"

"What if my lack of speed and endurance cause us to be late?"

"What if everyone gets pissed at me?"

"What if no one wants me on another Ragnar team again?"

You get the picture, this went ON and ON and ON and ON......

Now, I do know that if me being slow is the worst of our issues this weekend it will be a win....the shit that Angela and Brad dealt with last year was so much worse....broken bones, hospital visits and dead batteries to name a few.....  You can read about them starting Here for part 1part 2part 3 & part 4 

So you know what??  I just need to put on my big girl panties, do my best and have a good time.  This is not about ME and my insecurities it is about ALL 12 of us having the BEST.FLIPPING.TIME ever!!


22 comments:

  1. Love this post! Not because you are freaked out but because you are awesome enough to admit it and keep moving forward. You're going to rock this run!

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  2. You are gonna kick some major butt and have a great time doing it! Enjoy the ride, have fun with your friends, and get ready for an even better spring!

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  3. Ragnar is an amazing adventure! It's about being around like-minded people and out of your zone at the same time. You'll love it! But you will get depleted from humidity and need to remember to hydrate. Hope to see you there!

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    1. I really hope to see you guys too!!! I need to put a magnet on your van :)

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  4. No better way to rediscover your running mojo than Ragnar. You are going to have a blast!!! Normal to be nervous, but enjoy, enjoy, enjoy!

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  5. Listen, Missy! It is SO not about your race pace but the experience! There is no such thing as "late" in Ragnar. The heat and humidity killed me my 1st leg and I nearly passed out, vomited and shat myself, all at the same time, but I didn't. Plenty of fluids and fuel and I was fine after that. Our team was much slower than projected. The heat and humidity hit everyone hard. Slow it down. Enjoy the views. Talk to other runners. Make new friends like you ALWAYS do! I can't wait to hear all about it!!!!!!

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    1. Thank you for this and for the text...it really means a lot!!!

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  6. Aww Gigi, I think you are being too hard on yourself! You are going to get on that plane and you are going to have a blast! And just think of all the margaritas in Key West you can enjoy when you finish this. Just take the heat and the humidity slowly as you can and make sure you drink plenty of water. Keep hydrated! We are rooting for you!

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    1. Thank you!! I will just pretend that Benedict Cumberbatch is at the finish :)

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  7. It is going to be EPIC!!!!!!!!!!!

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  8. OMG you WILL have the best time! Go! Sweat! Swear! and most of all ENJOY!

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  9. No matter what, I know you'll have an amazing time!! I'm jealous! I would love to do one someday. Good luck girl!

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    1. You will do one this I am sure of!!!! Thank you!

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  10. You are a rockstar! For one second sit back and think about how many people you know who have even attempted a Ragnar challenge. Not that many, right? You are already a fierce Amazon woman for trying!
    The humidity and heat may suck but just take your time, try to have fun and realize that no one cares how long it takes you to get there, as long as you get there in the end. Can't wait to read all about it. KICK ASS!
    p.s. I like the bit about Benedict. He is waiting for you at the finish line and he is in a wet t-shirt. Run like the wind before it dries!

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  11. Good luck Gigi!!! I know you will do awesome!!!

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  12. Maybe this will be the experience in which you find your mojo again, though. Try to have fun!

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