I know this is silly. I just can't help it. I am on a team with some pretty fast and fit people and I am by far the slowest person.
Then you throw in the humidity and I panic. We all know that humidity and I are not friends....it makes me slow and it makes me throw up. I am usually a nervous person at the start of a race but this has been the past week. When I first learned about this event I didn't just want to do it - I WAS GOING TO DO IT!! When Angela posted on the Team Tough Chik page that she just finished the 2013 run and was going to be putting together a team for 2014.... I . WAS . IN!!
Fast forward a year....I have gained 20 pounds due to some medial reasons but mostly a lot of bad eating habits.....I mean just look at the name of this blog.....I am 40 NOT 4 and yet I still eat like Buddy the Elf.
Putting on this weight has really taken a toll on my running times. I went from the low 10 minute miles to the high 11 minute miles for short distances. I was happy that in the last couple of races of 2013 my half marathon pace stayed close to 12 minute miles and my shorter races were close to 11 minute miles but here in the North East it is cold in November and December.....not 80 degrees and A MILLION percent humidity as it is in South Florida.
Now, I know that even though they are super fit and fast every member of my team is pretty much awesome and are not going to look at me like the asshole who is ruining it for everyone but I know *I* will be looking at myself with those eyes.
I have not run much since December between getting sick at he fact that I have seriously lost my running mojo. With the exception of Rock n Roll Phoenix (Thanks to new friends) I have hated every single run I have taken in 2014. WHAT THE FUCK!?!
I have been silently freaking out about this for the past week. As I was getting the last of my running packing done last night it really started to hit me.